Receiving a final answer from commissioners is faintly reminiscent of being dumped as a teenager. First off, you know they’re not that keen, but still you cling on for dear life, hoping to save the love you once enjoyed. You promise to change, to be anything they want you to be, but it’s too late. You’re becoming a burden. Chances are that they won’t have the guts to say it outright; they’ll never sit you down and say it’s finished. Instead you’ll be strung out for several unhappy months as their terms of endearment grow vaguer, their calls dwindle to silence, and their PAs manage the awkward gulf between you. Before you know it, the whirlwind romance is over. You’re on your own again.
And the soul-seaching begins. What did you do wrong? They’d seemed so keen…Your colleagues console you with the assurance that your proposals are too good for them anyway. You smile bravely, hating yourself because obviously you nick your ideas from Metro like everyone else. Besides, they chirp up, there are loads of other commissioners out there, just waiting to hear from you. But you don’t listen. You had a taste of commissioner interest and now it’s gone.
The truth is commissioners are like hormonal adolescents. They’ll leap on what they fancy like horny dogs, shower you with compliments, bombard you with calls and emails, even fight over you. But when any talk of commitment comes up, they panic. “It’s not you, it’s me,” they’ll say, citing budgets, schedules, steers, the recession, even your love rivals as excuses. But they’ll never say, what deep down you’ve always known. They just weren’t that into you.
And like all good, unhealthy relationships, you know it’s only a matter of time before you go back…
By Bezlshazzar (who works in a development team near you…)
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